An Angel In Disguise

The last 2 weeks have passed in a blur really. Jacob has been ill in hospital but now better but my Auntie Kathleen has also been very sick in hospital and has sadly passed away.

I say sadly passed away - it's sad for those of us left behind who will mourn her and miss her, as I'm writing this I still can't believe she's gone. But for Kathleen, with a strong belief in god it's happy that she's free from pain and in heaven.

Kathleen was a person who was always well, there. If you needed her, she was there. She was there at Christmas - hers was one of the first Christmas cards to arrive and she made beautiful Christmas cakes for family members. She usually visited between Christmas and New Year. At all family occasions she was there. She always had a warm hug for you. She used to ask questions about what you were doing and your life - sometimes bordering on prying questions - but she could keep her counsel and was never judgemental. I'm struggling to come to terms with the face that she's no longer "there".

The most fantastic thing about Kathleen however is the way she was loved and part of the Chinese and Asian student community in York. Her home is situated a stones throw from the University in York and for the last 30 years she has welcomed students into her home not only as lodgers but also as a place to meet on a Friday night for the York Chinese Christian Fellowship (YCCF). Each Christmas day any Chinese students were welcomed to her home and she would serve Christmas dinner for 30+ people at a time.

The YCCF became Kathleen's family. She travelled to weddings in Hong Kong and attended Christenings as guest of honour. She died holding hands with two of her Chinese friends who she considered her family.

I am humbled this week by all I have learnt about her relationship and what she has done for her Chinese friends. The outpouring of emotion on her Facebook page has been phenomenal.

I am blessed to have been born into the same family as her. Throughout her life she simply quietly went about her business it is only in death that some of us have come to realise and appreciate what a massive impact her love and care for others has made on so many lives.

Morning Coffee

The doorbell rang.  I peeped out of the window to get a first look at my expected visitors.  There stood a very tense looking man holding hands with a little boy.  Well actually he wasn't holding hands so much as clinging onto him with a vice like grip.  Over his shoulder was a rucksack.  He didn't look at all happy.  I wondered for a split second if I had made a mistake in inviting him to my home.  What on earth had possessed me?  Ethos?  Compassion?  Pity?  Probably a little of all of these.  Whatever it was he was here now so there was no going back.

I went to open the door and welcome them in.  I will never forget what I saw when I opened the door.  The man before me looked so utterly sad, forlorn and dejected.  My heart went out to him. Before I could say so much as "Hello" the little boy barged past me and into my lounge - dragging his dad behind him.  "Sorry" the man said, but he didn't need to apologise.  I knew all about the little boy and his special needs.  This was Andy and the little boy was his son, Jacob.

I had, I thought, "Jacob proofed" my lounge prior to their arrival.  How little I knew of what "Jacob proofing" really entailed.  Jacob - who has a compulsion to "post" - found every little gap, crevice, possible posting point in my lounge within the first 10 minutes of his arrival.  Nothing was safe or sacred.  Pieces of paper, bits of fluff and anything he could find were systematically posted behind the radiator, into the gap which forms the double radiator, into the crack on a wall cupboard and even into the gap I didn't know was there on the piano!

I made endless cups of coffee that day with Andy sitting on the floor (his choice) along with Jacob before, reluctantly, Andy and Jacob took their leave and returned to Hull.  It had been an eventful day after they had arrived.  I had the tiniest insight into the "complex and unique" individual Jacob is and Andy I felt, clichéd although it is, I had known for years.  Spending time in his company felt comfortable in the same way as it does sitting in your favourite old armchair.  Despite all of this I had no idea of the huge impact these two new friends were going to make on me, my family and my life.  Little did I realise that I may have met my future husband.