It's been an incredibly hard week so far. It didn't start very well - on Sunday evening my stepson, Jacob, was desperately sick. Jacob is a very unique individual. He lives in a special residential school with several other uniquely special children. He faces many challenges in his life, one of which is Haemophilia. For those of you reading this who are not familiar with this condition it means that unlike most of us Jacob's blood doesn't clot correctly - so any bump or knock can to Jacob prove fatal as he could bleed to death. He is also prone to suffering "spontaneous bleeds" where for some unknown reason he will start to bleed internally. The first we are aware of it, because Jacob can't tell us, is when the affected area becomes hot, swells or shows external bruising. Three times a week Jacob has an artificial clotting drug injected into his system. To him this is life saving.
On Sunday evening Jacob started fitting and having "episodes". An ambulance was called to his home but they would not take him to hospital because he was deemed unfit to travel due to his violent behaviour whilst fitting. They couldn't give him a sedative because that required a Doctor. Jacob's own GP does not offer a domiciliary service the other other Doctor, in the nearest hospital, would not attend. Meanwhile Jacob was hurting himself as Andy and his care staff struggled to keep him safe. Eventually Jacob wore himself out and drifted to sleep around 5.30 am on Monday morning. There is now a big investigation going on as to what went wrong and why "the system" failed Jacob so spectacularly. The bottom line is he could have died - bled to death from any one of his injuries he sustained during his episodes. It frightened us.
So that was how the week began. On Monday Andy spent most of the day in bed. I had less than one hours sleep and then had Lizzie and Faith most of the day - which was hard as they had both enjoyed a full night's sleep and were totally full of beans. On Monday evening I had booked a riding lesson for Sam on the beautiful Abby. A little magic happened on Monday evening.
In January Abby threw me off when she exploded in pain from a medical condition we didn't know she had. I will never forget the look in her eye that day when I was on the ground. She looked so dejected, despondent, sad and her eyes were hurt, dull and lifeless. She was in pain - not only from her condition but mentally because she knew she had hurt me and we were very close. I was in pain - she had broken my coccyx. Andy and Vivienne - my sister - walked her home to my parents farm whilst I drove behind her. I called the vet and she underwent lots of xrays, tests and investigation. My horse was well and truly broken.....so was I.
There followed months and months of rehabilitation. It started with walks out together - Abby and I for 10 minutes each day, building up to an hour. At first neither of us could hardly walk. I would lean on her for support and she would take slow, painful steps but we did it. Every day. Whether it rained, snowed, sun shine or windy Abby and I would take a walk. It was essential to her rehabilitation. Eventually the vet decided Abby could be ridden again. I could not ride so I employed a professional to come and ride her. Between riding days I would walk with her and work her on the lunge. Soon my sister, daughter and son started to ride her but I was still unfit and unable to ride. Then the day came when I was physically fit enough but mentally I was afraid. What if she exploded again? What if I didn't realise a problem was going on and I hurt her? What if, now she was the fittest she has been for I think years I couldn't handle her? What if.....?
On Monday evening I faced my fears and my "What if's". Whilst Sam was having his lesson I decided I was going to ride Abby that night. So when Sam and Christie, his instructor, returned I asked Christie if she could stay a while and help me to ride Abby once more. Knowing what a major milestone this was Christie was delighted. It was only a short 10 minute ride but I did it. In the same way I will never forget the look in Abby's eye that dismal day in January I will never forget the look in her eye on Monday. We had done it - we had got there together! I was back where I belonged and she finally knew that the damage that had been done that fateful day at the beginning of the year had been repaired. Her eyes sparkled and she carried me so gently and stood as solid as a rock for me to mount and dismount. After my ride she nuzzled up to me in the field for ages - she didn't want me to leave her to go home. "We" were back in business!
Today was a day from hell - quite literally I won't go into too much detail but it didn't start well at all and continued going wrong all day until everything that had gone wrong paled into significance with the dreadful news that Natalie's cat, Cheese, - which was Lizzie's pet - had sadly been run over by a car and had to be put to sleep. Natalie explained to Lizzie as best she could and we dealt with the fallout. Tonight Cheese has her final resting place in our garden where Lizzie can plant some flowers and watch them grow, never forgetting her first pet.
So this week has been hard, incredibly hard and I suddenly realised tonight it's Thursday. The week has passed almost in a blur - lurching from one major event to another. I wonder if it was a week like this that inspired the name TGI Friday?
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